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25 July 2008

welcome, oh life. and learning how to breathe

Lucy's here

For months, we have planned to open the post announcing her birth with this Peanuts cartoon we found over a year ago. Tattered at the edges, and growing yellow from being on our refrigerator so long, this cartoon conveys how we feel about the birth of our daughter.

(Except the snottiness of that Lucy. We don't think she'll be like that one.)

All is right in the world, as long as Lucy is in it.

now we are a family

Our daughter was born on Monday, July 21st, at 4:40 pm. Lucy Marie Ahern (no longer just Little Bean) weighed 7 pounds 7.5 ounces, and measured 19 inches long.

Those are just numbers. No words will ever match the experience of hearing her cry for the first time, a barbaric yawp that echoed against the walls of the OR, a huge lusty cry that said, "I'm here. I am." We will never find the words to tell the story of holding her on my chest as I still lay on the gurney, my body being sewn closed, and seeing her wide open eyes slowly turn from one of us to the other, as we talked to her. She knew our voices, without a doubt. And no words can match the sweetness of a hospital room filled with loved ones, holding her in turns, and beaming with pride and happiness at the sight of her small face.

We became parents, as soon as we saw her, as soon as we heard her cry. Instantaneous, enormous, bouncing-off-all-the-walls love. No words for this love.

Oh god, we love Lucy.

Originally, we knew exactly how this post would go. We'd announce her, tell you all about her, and end by saying how happy we are to know her. Goodbye.

If only life were always so easily planned.

We knew we'd be singing lots of Beatles and John Lennon songs around her birth. The song playing as she entered the world? "I Will," a song deeply important to both of us. We both cried at that. But the lyrics that have rained insistently in my head these past few days? These lines from John's song, "Beautiful Boy":

Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans.

The Chef and I have spent the past three days in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit, our arms sore from leaning on the hard plastic sides of the isolette, trying to will breath into our daughter.

We don't want to say too much here. We can't say too much. If I take the time to contemplate what has happened to us, what we have endured on so little sleep, how scared and in pain and trying to buoy ourselves up we have been — I'll start crying and not be able to go on.

It's like living in a different world, in constant twilight, saturated with numbers we never knew existed. We are with her, next to her side, as much as possible. The entire world focuses down to the way her toes curl against our fingers, the wheeze in her throat from the breathing tube, and waiting for her to grip our pinkies.

This time of constant twilight is almost unbearable. Almost, because we are bearing it. We have to bear it. For Lucy.

Lucy stops breathing sometimes. My new definition of terror? Sitting strapped in a hospital bed at 3:30 in the morning, watching our daughter being raced to the nurses' station, alarms going off, a stampede of feet running toward her. And I can't get up and follow her because I just underwent a c-section only twelve hours before.

Oh lord, it's like hell.

But we're still finding the light in this. We're both convinced that we have lessons to learn, and so does she. She's a strong little cuss, stubborn and feisty. She does NOT like having blood drawn or procedures done to her. She fights. She squirms. I love it. One of the nurses said to us, "That's good. Sick kids don't fight. They just lie there. Tell her to keep fighting us."

She will.

(The Chef and I have that fight in us as well. If you saw me, you wouldn't believe I underwent major surgery four days ago. I'm walking, standing, moving things around, no real pain, just a dull ache. Right after the nurses took our daughter to the ICU, I called in my nurse and said, "Okay, get me up and walking. I need to recover, now." I understand those news stories now, the ones about women lifting up cars to save their kids. The body's capable of amazing things.)

The nurses have been phenomenal. Compassionate and direct, taking care of us as well as her. Whenever a nurse says something kind, or asks how we are doing, or does something efficiently for Lucy and makes her feel better, we just burst into tears, almost. And the Chef always turns to me and says, "I LOVE that person."

But still, we are here, living on the bounty of food that our dear friends bring us, only a few hours of sleep fitfully tossed on a hospital cot together, and deep abiding hope. We believe.

We thought about waiting to post until everything was hunky-dory. That might be soon. We seem to be through the worst of it.

That first night, I was convinced she was dying. It's bound to be better than that. On Tuesday, she had more tests than any human should. Imagine a lumbar puncture at two days old, two EEGs, two MRIs, blood drawn multiple times, chest x-rays. But those tests eliminated almost all of the scary stuff.

This morning, all the tests seem to bear out our common sense. For whatever reason, little Lucy just doesn't know to breathe regularly yet. Perhaps she came out a little too early. Maybe she just needs to learn her way. Who comes out perfect anyway?

Last night, we began feeding her. After living on sugar water for three days, she finally took in the first food she had eaten since she landed in the ICU. Milk my body made, loving put into a tube by the two of us.

And today, finally, we had the chance to hold her. Skin to skin, heartbeat under her ear. When she lay on one of us for half an hour or an hour at a time, she never once had a difficulty with breathing. We were teaching her.

But still, we don't know. Something horrendous could come up tomorrow. We could still be here for days. Perhaps the Chef's entire tw0-week paternity leave will be spent in this hospital room.

We're here. And perhaps more than any other experience in our lives, we are learning to lean into the moments as they come, and find the light. Tomorrow does not matter. What matters is right now, when she is sleeping peacefully, the two of us watching her in her crib.

She's here. That's all we need.

Lucy just after birth

I keep thinking of this moment just after her birth. Still covered in gunk, she cried out her arrival. I am here. I am.

She knew how to breathe in that moment, and for the next twelve hours after that. She will, again.

Breathe, Lucy Marie. We want to show you the world. And you are already loved, by so many people who have never met you.

Breathe, Little Bean. Breathe.

317 Comments:

At 10:20 PM, Blogger Kitt said...

Wow. Welcome, Lucy. Sending fighting vibes your way. And deep breaths. For you and your parents.

 
At 10:24 PM, Blogger Diana Lee said...

Oh, Shauna. Sending you hearty congratulations on the birth of your beautiful daughter. More importantly, I'm sending all the healing vibes in the world to your little girl. You're all in my thoughts.

 
At 10:29 PM, Anonymous Debbie said...

Welcome to little Lucy Marie. Peace to you & the Chef. Wishing the VERY BEST for your little family.

 
At 10:40 PM, Anonymous Lindsay said...

Sweet Baby Lucy, fill those lungs with the light, love and laughter your Mama and Papa feel inside for you. Let their breath lead yours, their hearts coax you forward. That's what life is all about Little Bean; remembering to breathe and soak it all in. You can do it!! xoxo

 
At 10:43 PM, Blogger Schriftstellar said...

For some reason all I can think of is the word inspire, from the Latin for "to breathe." May your Lucy---an inspiration conjured by the two of you, together---remind us grown-ups to persevere even when the going gets tough!

Congratulations and please know that one little family in Massachusetts is sending you a thousand wishes of hope and healing.

 
At 10:49 PM, Anonymous Jolie said...

Finally delurking to say, "Welcome, Lucy." Many blessings and prayers for you guys during this wonderfully scary and scarily wonderful time.

 
At 10:50 PM, Blogger judy said...

YES!!! Welcome, beautiful Lucy! Sending love to you, baby...and parents...and healing strength for you all.

 
At 10:52 PM, Blogger Little Read Hen said...

Congratulations!

Secondly, listen to smart doctors. Listen to wise, comforting, compasionate nurses.
Move around, hold and feed and love your baby.
She'll get there.
You all will.
Beautiful name. Beatiful family shot.
Hang in there. Get used to not sleeping...that doesn't seem to change. Sigh.

Congratulations again, you are officially a Family. Capital F.

P.S. Bring or leave good food (and /or flowers) for your nurses. They heart that.

Remember, there are remarkably good, world class doctors in Seattle. If you need to, get opionions.

Best,
SO

 
At 10:57 PM, Blogger Little Read Hen said...

Ok. Sorry. P.P.S. I think babies ALWAYS breath better on a parent or even with a hand on thier chest. Its a focus point, like Pilates or just life in every other culture in the universe.

 
At 10:58 PM, Blogger noisy penguin said...

Our little guy was whisked away from us shortly after he was born as well. All the ideas I had in my head about what would happen after he arrived - holding him on my chest, feeding him, watching my husband hold him for the first time - were put on hold for three days while he was in the NICU. You can't be prepared for it, and it's the hardest thing in the world, watching your little one cry and fight and not being able to hold or comfort them. After spending time in an oxygen tent, on an IV, getting numerous heel pricks and blood draws, our little boy got to come home with us, and he's thriving.

Keep fighting Lucy. I hope you all can go home soon as a family.

 
At 11:15 PM, Blogger yanub said...

Sending you and Lucy my best wishes for health. Even without the health scare, being a new parent is the most frightening prospect imaginable. Oh, what have you gotten yourself into? Part of you wants to make a break for the irresponsibility you had before the pregnancy. And the rest of you body slams that part of you and tells it you aren't going anywhere as long as that little nubbin needs you.

 
At 11:16 PM, Blogger Cher said...

She is perfection. You are all in our
(positive, healing) thoughts. Blessings to the three of you!

 
At 11:18 PM, Blogger Andrea said...

Congratulations on Lucy's birth -- what a beautiful name for a little girl. I hope this will soon turn from a scary, what-if time to a more peaceful time that the three of you can enjoy. You'll all be in my thoughts; keep fighting.

 
At 11:26 PM, Blogger Rachel said...

Congratulations to you, Shauna and the Chef! And welcome, little Lucy. Many prayers are being said for all of you, and your medical team tonight on the other side of the mountains.

 
At 11:49 PM, Blogger Hannah said...

Oh goodness.

Congratulations and many many deep breaths for all of you. It's hard to catch your breath when life is so intense. I hope you can look back on it and congratulate yourselves for handling things with such grace. I look back on my labor (which was difficult and did NOT go as expected--pretty much the opposite of what I wanted, including after the labor) and I see that I made it through and so did my Pele Rose. Your Lucy Marie will do the same.

Love to you all,

Hannah

 
At 11:55 PM, Anonymous Anne said...

Welcome to Lucy, and congratulations to you all. I'm sending healthy vibes from across the ocean - take it easy on yourselves.

 
At 12:05 AM, Blogger Shelly! said...

Voices all around are uttering the word 'breathe' as we read your words. I'm sending deep breaths to the adorable and feisty Lucy. Breathe darling.

 
At 12:13 AM, Blogger Stephanie said...

ive never met a lucy i didnt like.

everyone follows their own path. she just picked a windier one then most. but the windier roads tend to have a greater return.

my prayers & thoughts are with you all.

MiSheberach-healing of body and healing of soul (in hebrew)

 
At 12:22 AM, Blogger shinyruby2 said...

sending big hugs to you and yr family. those little beans sure are fighters, don't you doubt it.

take care and enjoy xxxxx

 
At 12:33 AM, Anonymous Barbara said...

Finally delurking to say welcome Lucy. Keep breathing ...I hold all three of you in my heart, sending whatever healing vibes and thoughts I can ...

 
At 12:36 AM, Blogger R. Geary said...

Wow. Congratulations, and welcome to the world, Lucy!

 
At 1:18 AM, Anonymous Sophie said...

That's quite the dramatic entrance into this world little Lucy...

Fingers crossed for the three of you. I hope you all get to go home to start life as a family very soon

 
At 2:16 AM, Anonymous Jessica said...

Such a stunning picture, the second one. Me who is usually a bit of a cold hearted person when it comes to babies, I felt tears coming. Amazing.

Welcome Lucy! Babies who fight are the best - you're a little warrior.

 
At 2:22 AM, Blogger Sue-Ann said...

hold her as much and as often as you can. Think about getting a sling so you can wear her. - all best wishes...

 
At 2:30 AM, Blogger selena said...

You can do it, little one!

 
At 2:42 AM, Blogger Olivia said...

Many prayers for your sweet family of three.

Love, Olivia

 
At 3:24 AM, Blogger lisa said...

Welcome, Lucy! Love, hugs, and deep healing breaths to you and all your family.

 
At 3:32 AM, Anonymous Hannah said...

Congratulations, and know that down here at the bottom of the world (Australia), there are people thinking of you and Lucy. Your words, your story, your life give me hope when my own seem bleak, and I only wish my gratitude could take a more tangible form, but just know that I'm wishing all the best for your family.

 
At 3:38 AM, Blogger sweetpea said...

My dear Shauna and Danny,
Let me say here what I have said in private, stay present, stay with her and stay with each other as you navigate this oh so unexpected journey. After 20 years of critical care pediatric nursing I am still stopped in my tracks by apnea! You are in the very best of hands at a world renoun hospital. However, you are Lucy's most important lifeline, your skin, your voices, your milk. . . Look just beyond her bed as well and you will find some of those lessons you speak about in this journey which I know all too well. Constant thoughts and prayers coming your way from MN.

 
At 3:46 AM, Blogger Hellion said...

I'm just hopeless at commenting! But I've been a reader since I did a web search a year ago when I was diagnosed with Celiac disease as well.
My friend had her little girl back in March and she had the same breathing problems little Lucy has. Kaitlynn is now 4 months old and a giggling little bundle of cutness. She just took a little bit longer to get going without Mums help, thats all.
I hope it will be so for Lucy. Sending all my good thoughts to you and yours.

 
At 3:50 AM, Anonymous mama to jack said...

have been reading your blog for a long while now but have never commented- how could i not now.
blessings to your beautiful family and sending courage, humility, and strength your way. congratulations on starting the most incredible journey of your life. my thoughts will be with little lucy bean.

 
At 4:00 AM, Blogger Sue said...

Was so thrilled to read of her arrival: now I am so grieved to hear of the drama you've been living since then. The night my first daughter was born, I was afraid to go to sleep in case she forgot to breathe and I couldn't help her. She didn;t forget, but it means I so relate to what has happened with Lucy. I so hope and pray that all is soon well and that three of you can get on with living your life in your family home. Sleep and cuddle as much as you can, and know that you are all three very loved. And take care of yourself: you have healing to do.

 
At 4:11 AM, OpenID cafe-eclectic.net said...

Welcome to the world, Lucy. I know you can learn how to breathe!!!

Congratulations Shauna and the Chef. You are in my thoughts.

 
At 4:11 AM, Blogger Julie said...

Lucy Marie and both of you, all the Drs and staff at the hospital....you are all in my prayers. Welcome Lucy!!

 
At 4:15 AM, Anonymous Liz said...

Welcome to the world sweet Lucy.

Shauna, thank you for filling us in. I'm so sorry for the extra stress. She is perfect and beautiful. That face shot is amazing.

You are teaching her to breath when she's on you. Her perfect place to be, your heartbeat is her home.

Sending love and light!

 
At 4:18 AM, Blogger Sarah said...

Welcome to the world little beautiful Lucy! Holding you in my thoughts and my prayers.

 
At 4:48 AM, Anonymous radish said...

Shauna, all the best wishes to you and the Chef and little Lucy! Welcome to this big, beautiful world! Just keep breathing.

 
At 5:00 AM, Blogger melissa said...

"It's good she's a girl. Girls are fighters" is what they told my husband and me when our daughter was born prematurely and we found ourselves in the NICU for two weeks. Go Lucy! Congrats on your miracle.

 
At 5:01 AM, Blogger melissa said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 5:03 AM, Blogger Thomas Dzomba said...

Cangratulations Shauna...sending breathing thoughts Lucy's way. All will be okay.

She is beautiful.

 
At 5:06 AM, Blogger Tiara said...

Congratulations to all 3 of you! Lucy is perfect. I'm sending love and healing energy from my end of the globe to you all.

I came 2 months early, not breathing and spent several weeks in the NICU. 26 years later I'm still here, breathing, and I'm sure sweet Lucy is too.

Just breathe little one...

 
At 5:06 AM, Blogger chris said...

Congrats on your perfect, beautiful daughter. Hang in there. We are all sending you the best possible wishes.

 
At 5:16 AM, Blogger 4T's said...

Congratulations! I so enjoyed reading how much you and your husband are thrilled by the life of your child. I really enjoy your website and will be praying for your child.

 
At 5:17 AM, Anonymous jennifer in tx said...

Congratulations! What a sweet girl and great name!

When my son was born, he stayed in the NICU for 10 days because of breathing problems. They didn't know was what wrong, but they ruled out everything major and finally sent him home. He breathed irregularly and rapidly until 4 months old. Today, he is almost 7 and full of life and energy and you never know he was born with a problem. I feel your situation, when you look back on this you won't know how you made it through but here are blessings upon you that everything will be fine.

 
At 5:18 AM, Blogger ~Kat~ said...

Make that two little families in Massachusetts- we wish you well, we wish you peace, we wish you clean, healthy, sustaining breaths of life.
Congratulations on that gorgeous girl of yours...

 
At 5:26 AM, Blogger Sarah Yost said...

Oh, sweet. Prayers for your family! Your little family of three with its attendant tribe of people who love you so much. Prayers for you.

 
At 5:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hello lucy!!! oh for so long we've been waiting to "meet" you, the stories that Mom has shared as you have been growing inside, getting ready for the big B Day...and now you are here, and you are beautiful, and together with Mom & Dad you are a beautiful familie... just take it one breath at a time learning as you go along, knowing you are loved by so many, both near & far, much more than words eloquently describe here... we will wait while you get stronger, nurtured not only by love but also sheer spunk & chutzpah as you have already shown us with your big yowl upon arrival... shauna & The Chef, sending you both & lucy too, positive thoughts & energies...may all three of you be home soon...
take care, and congratulations!

carol

 
At 5:40 AM, Blogger Jenn said...

Welcome to the world Little Lucy!!

Congrats Shauna and the Chef ... she is a beauty, you did a wonderful job!

We are sending her lots of love and healing light her way! Judging by the look of that first cry ... she is definitely a fighter (you have your hands full!)

 
At 5:44 AM, Blogger laurabelle said...

Our prayers are with your precious new family! She is beautiful! Love the name Lucy Marie! Thanks for taking the time to share the story with us. We appreciate it.

 
At 5:47 AM, Anonymous Leah said...

I am a long-time reader, but have never commented until now. I had a scheduled c-section and 2 days later, my son was taken from our arms and flown by helicopter to a bigger hospital. I signed myself out of the hospital(you're right, the body can do amazing things when it needs to!) and we drove 2 hours to get to our son. After a battery of tests(lumbar puncture, EEGs, MRI, MRA, etc...) he only had to stay a week in the NICU and is a healthy 2 year old today. As horrible as it seemed at the time, my husband and I still say that we were blessed by the experience. When you have to rely so fully on each other for strength to get through the ordeal, you end up becoming closer than you ever thought you could and learning so much about your partner. And, oh, the miracle of bringing your baby home from that hospital! I'm praying for Lucy and that you and the Chef will find the strength you need to meet each new challenge!

 
At 5:51 AM, Blogger J. said...

we became parents this week too - in a differnt way but parents and 2 songs have been running through my head as well - beautiful boy and breathe ( by ?) both songs apply so appropriatley to our lives this week - in my struggles I am trying " to breathe, just breathe" as I remember that life is not always what I have planned - I wish the same for the 3 of you and knwo that you are in my prayers

 
At 5:53 AM, Anonymous judy said...

Shauna, I only know you through reading what you write here. I don't even have celiac...yet I sit here crying at my computer. I am so happy for you. She is beautiful. I love the name Lucy. I was going to use it if my 2nd had been a girl.

Becoming a mother is wonderful (I found out 8 years ago) and terrifying and guilt-ridden and hilarious. I know you will discover all of this for yourself. But for now, just try to live in this moment. She is in my prayers.

 
At 5:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

shauna,
i am sending every good prayer and wish in me over to you and the chef. your little girl could not be more beautiful. breathe lucy.
mary

 
At 6:01 AM, Anonymous Sue said...

Congratulations!
Continue to be positive and strong. Take care of yourselves and each other so that you can continue to be strong for Lucy. She is beautiful.
Keep fighting Little Lucy! Breathe!

 
At 6:15 AM, Blogger Leigh said...

Lucy - you have such wonderful things still to come! Keep fighting, baby girl. Keep taking one breath at a time and let your parents show you how to do it. One breath at a time.

Hugs, prayers, and good juju coming from this way...

 
At 6:21 AM, Blogger GG said...

Dear Shauna, Dear Chef, Dear Lucy --
Please excuse the emotional rant from a stranger... but my feelings are just pouring out of such a desire to make it all OK for you all, or at least let you know I'm sending you all the good energy and prayers in the world.
I have been reading your blog for a while. In fact you inspired me to start my own. I hadn't realized how much a part of my life you had become until I realized I was checking every few hours to make sure you were still all right and that the birth had gone well. So there you are, and here I am, halfway across the world, wishing I could stop by the hospital with some goodies and a smile -- even though we are strangers.
Please know that you are not alone. I hope you can feel the wishes, hopes and prayers for the three of you at this trying time.
Sometimes we all need to remember to breathe, but how to know that when you haven't yet learned? Lucy, as your child, will hopefully develop enough memories of the air passing into her lungs to breathe properly, and each breath will be a big mouthful of a loving life she will live to the fullest -- just like her mother just like her father.
May you all breathe a sigh of relief soon, and may Lucy grow and learn and take in everything with the same love as the two people whose love made her.

 
At 6:22 AM, Blogger LL said...

Hi to you and Welcome little Lucy. A friend sent me a link to your blog saying, "It looks like their little girl is doing what Landon did." My son was born last July at a healthy 7 lb. 7.5 ounces exactly, and just like your Lucy, he just hadn't figured out how to breathe. I held him as he turned blue, and watched him be rushed to the NICU where he stayed for 12 days. He had the feeding tube, the breathing tube, and all the tests - and he was fine, he just had a few things to figure out in this world outside of his momma.

Once he figured out how to breathe most of the time, he'd forget whenever he ate, so we had to work on that too. The good (great) thing is that once these little babies figure all that out, and go the generally required 5 days without any "episodes" before they can go home, they do not do it again. We took him home after 5 healthy pink days and he never once had another problem - I thought we'd hover over his crib, but we learned to relax and you will too.

Kangaroo care (the skin-to-skin cuddling) was a miracle worker for us. He improved so much every time we did that- it remains my favorite memory of those first few weeks.

I don't even know you and don't pretend to know what you're feeling, but I can tell you that for us, Landon's time in the NICU is something we look back on almost fondly. We were so excited to be with him - even if it was regulated. We loved the nurses and we learned a lot about parenting through them. We cheered on his every advance and tried not to despair at the setbacks. But mostly we just loved him - and soaked up his tiny little presence (well I say tiny, but at 7 lb. 7 oz he was the biggest baby in the NICU). It's not the story you planned to tell, but it will be Your story and Lucy's story and you'll love it anyway.

Best of luck to you. If you'd like to read our story- my blog is http://lagliv.blogspot.com, and Landon was born July 2007. I'm sending strong healthy oxygen saturated thoughts your way!

 
At 6:52 AM, Blogger Debbie said...

Congratulations on Lucy's arrival! What a perfect family portrait! As for this scary time, you find out what true love is. True love is found in the panic, worry, and tears. You are experiencing all of these emotions because you deeply love her. All three of you are in our prayers.

PS There are a pair of socks in the mail to cover those 10 little pink toes.

Debbie

 
At 6:58 AM, OpenID askthesky said...

I'm praying for no apnea, no D-sats, no bad stuff... reading this sent me right back to the NICU with my first born.

Peace and love to you, little Lucy, now show 'em what you got!

 
At 7:05 AM, Anonymous Susan said...

I just wanted to send a million and one good thoughts and prayers your way. For you and your husband and your beautiful Lucy.

 
At 7:21 AM, Blogger AMY @ CRABTREE STUDIO said...

Oh my! Congratulations - beautiful name, beautiful baby. I'll keep all three of you in my thoughts and prayers.

 
At 7:27 AM, Blogger Mama EZ said...

I'm shedding tears of joy for you! I'm sending hopeful thoughts that soon, very soon Lucy will be home with you and breathing like the champ she clearly is! Our baby girl is to arrive any day and I hope Lucy (LOVE this name!) and she get to meet one day! Thank you for reminding us all how precious life is. Take care!

 
At 7:29 AM, Blogger Sabrina said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your beautiful little family!

 
At 7:30 AM, Blogger Engineer Baker said...

My heart just stopped the minute I heard. I don't know what to say but this - breathe, little Lucy, not just for the two parents who've waited so long, but also for all of us, who have heard so much about you, Little Bean.

 
At 7:33 AM, Anonymous mindy said...

we too, had a similar experience with our second born. she was born at 36 weeks, but was big - weighed 8lb. 6oz. she also was fine for about 12 hours & then would stop breathing. she seemed to have problems sucking, swallowing & breathing at the same time, so she would stop breathing. after one week in the hospital we got to bring our baby home & she's been fine ever since. so, i don't know for sure, but it sounds like the same scenario. i remember those feelings of extreme worry & the sudden tears that would come with it. i feel like ultimately everything will be fine soon, though. just hang in there & know that everyone is pulling for you three.

 
At 7:34 AM, Blogger Ms. George said...

My favorite cousin's name is Lucy! I am sending all the prayers I know to you, Little One, and to your papa and mama. Welcome to the world.

 
At 7:46 AM, Anonymous meg said...

What a little beauty, with an adorable name to match. Congratulations!

And what a roller coaster of a week for you all. You're in my prayers!

 
At 7:48 AM, Blogger Anita (Married... with dinner) said...

oh, what a roller-coaster ride, this post. I am so glad to see Lucy's beautiful face. Congratulations -- you made a beautiful baby! I'm tearing up thinking about how hard it must be to spend her first days in the NICU, but if she is half as strong and determined as her parents are, she is going to come through just fine. I have seen friends' kids, super-preemies weighing less than 2 pounds at birth, grow into strong toddlers that you'd never know had any post-partum issues. I'm sending you love and positive thoughts!

 
At 7:49 AM, Blogger Clare said...

Sending you all healing light and love. Know that you are surrounded by this healing energy from all over the world.

Parenting is a roll-a-coaster ride and all you can do is hang on tight... scream occasionally... and know.

Breathing deep sycopating breathes for Lucy Marie.

 
At 7:49 AM, Blogger Liz said...

Prayers for you and yours.

 
At 7:51 AM, Blogger Melissa said...

Sending breathing vibes to Lucy! ~~~~

Breathe, girlie, breathe!!

 
At 7:56 AM, Anonymous sus said...

hi shauna,

congratulations on lucy's birth! i loved your honest post and i am sending you only the most positive of vibes for lucy's swift and healthy exit from the ICU. when i read your post, i felt acutely aware of our role as mothers. you seem to have entered it with a fury. my scares came later when my son had a seizure in first grade, but they come. i summed up how i feel about parenting in six words a few months back (part of an online community thing). mine is "my heart in the world. thrice." i am grateful to feel this selflessness, but it's scary just the same. please know you have a world of moms around you who "get" this primal reaction...and embrace it.

pls. don't publish this note. i'm an under the radar girl on this stuff.

sus

 
At 7:56 AM, Blogger Ann said...

Go team! You can do it! Lots of love and deep breaths and prayers and a wave of my sparkly plastic magic wand (which is basically an extra-special prayer) to all 3 of you from me in Cameroon.
Congratulations, and thanks for sharing this intense experience with your world wide web of support. Hope you are riding the waves of love, and that you can all go home soon.

 
At 8:01 AM, Blogger ChupieandJ'smama said...

Shauna and Chef, Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful daughter.
I'm praying for her to find her lungs.
HUGS to all 3 of you.

 
At 8:23 AM, Blogger Lauren said...

Ahh, Lucy Marie is beautiful. Breathing can take some getting used to. It makes sense. All three of you will be fine, more than fine, great. Time is all it takes.

 
At 8:38 AM, Blogger Lora said...

Welcome to the world, Lucy Marie! We are praying that everything will resolve quickly and easily and that you may all go home as a family soon.

My son had much the same problem and today, at 6 years old, you would never guess there had been any sort of "excitement" at his birth. I pray that the same holds true for Lucy!

 
At 8:41 AM, Blogger Kate said...

Oh, Shauna and Chef, a similar thing happened to my nephew. It was so, so scary -- if that's even the right word. It seemed like he was in the NICU forever, we still can't believe how his life started out, and now he's almost two! Lucy, you can do it!

and Congratulations, you two!

 
At 8:41 AM, Blogger Kelly said...

love and prayers from my little family to yours...deep breaths and soft sleep for all of you. xoxo.

 
At 8:47 AM, Anonymous Mara said...

I was born prematurely and spent the first three months of my life in a hospital. I went home with an oxygen tank and little hope from the doctors. So that was 25 years ago and last year, I bought my first home. I work, I laugh, and I breathe just like everyone else. And so will Lucy. The impossible is possible. You and your family are in my prayers.

 
At 8:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shauna, thank you so much for sharing not only your wild joy in Lucy's birth, but also your pain and fear in this time of uncertainty and terror. We are so privileged to carry this burden with you. You can feel it, can't you? Hundreds of us, all around the world, breathing deeply for you, laughing and weeping with you, loving Lucy already.

Breathe, beautiful Shauna. Breathe, dear Chef. Breathe, sweet, strong Lucy.

Hold your ground and Lucy will find hers too.

Much love from Virginia,
Kris

 
At 8:57 AM, Blogger Amy said...

I am so excited for you that baby Lucy has finally arrived. There is nothing in the world that can compare to the birth of a child.

I wish her the very best nurses and other medical staff who will know best what she needs at this time in her life.

Your family is in my prayers. Best wishes to your beautiful family.

 
At 9:09 AM, Blogger The Mighty R&R said...

What a beautiful girl she is. Am sending thoughts of love and strength and will your family's way.

 
At 9:09 AM, Anonymous Odetta White said...

Breathe, Lucy! Isaiah, Todd and Odetta are sending their prayers and hope and expectations of joy your way!

 
At 9:13 AM, Anonymous Patricia Baker said...

Stream of Life

The same stream of life that runs
through my veins runs through the world
and dances in rhythmic measure.

It is the same life that shoots in joy
through the dust of the earth into
numberless blades of grass and breaks
into tumultuous waves of leaves and flowers.

It is the same life that is rocked in the
ocean cradle of birth and death, in ebb and flow.

My limbs are made glorious by the touch
of this world of life.

And my pride is from the life throb of ages
dancing in my blood at this moment.

Rabindranath Tagore

 
At 9:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're HERE little Lucy. FINALLY AND FOR SURE!

I have been sending constant light your way since the last post and lo, Lucy was born on my very birthday
AND I am a teacher of BREATHING and singing.
Today I breathe with my full knowing for you all, dear ones.

 
At 9:27 AM, Blogger Christan = ) said...

My heart leapt for joy to see that you had posted as I am excited to meet the Little Bean.
As I started to read, tears of joy and pain flowed down my face.
We never expect as new parents to have to face the pain of our child being whisked away from us and reading your post brought memories back from my first childbirth. Mine wasn't breathing properly from the beginning, but it cleared up as will Lucy's.
I can say from experience, they come out feisty, they stay feisty!
Welcome to this world Lucy and to the two best, most loving parents a child can have!!
Congratulations Shauna and The Chef for a beautiful baby girl!!

 
At 9:30 AM, Blogger Dolores said...

Thoughts and prayers for love, happiness and peace for all three of you.

 
At 9:32 AM, Anonymous Adeena said...

Congrats on the birth of your beautiful daughter! Sending prayers that she'll learn to breathe soon.

 
At 9:34 AM, Anonymous Dianna said...

Delurking as well, to wish all three of you well, and prayers for Little Lucy.

 
At 9:34 AM, Anonymous Cathi said...

What beautiful pictures of your family. I have been reading your blog for several months and have been checking back daily to see your announcement of your daughters birth. There are no words to describe the love a parent has for a child - which you have learned now. I am so proud of you and The Chef - you are doing a remarkable job. Lucy Marie will learn how to breathe and all will be right with the world. Enjoy each and every moment! Sending you love, light, smiles, hugs and healing vibes. Breathe Lucy Marie Breathe.

 
At 9:50 AM, Blogger Seanie! said...

Oh! Welcome to this world, dear little one! So many wonderful people have waited for your arrival!

Congratulations, the three of you, on your sweet Lucy.

And Lucy, what a change of scenery, huh? Don't worry though, you'll have it sorted out in no time. Us "little fighters" have to look out for each other sometimes (I was born three weeks early, placenta detached and umbilical cord wrapped around my neck...).

Shauna, you have shared with us so many wonderful things, and thank you for taking the time to share this moment with us as well.

Sending all the healing, happy, healthy peace love and light I can to you three.

 
At 9:51 AM, Blogger clair said...

Just know that in this amazing & scary time, you have friends thinking of you & your family, & willing breath into your little bean's life. Lisa Marie sounds like a fighter, as the nurse said, some babied don't fight back! LOts of love & light to you all.

 
At 9:52 AM, Blogger milhan said...

Welcome Lucy!!

Ironically enough, I am visiting friends today, who have an 11 yr old son who also had breathing problems at birth...the little guys are fighters!!

Congratulations to the both of you on the birth of your beautiful daughter!

 
At 9:54 AM, Anonymous Diana said...

shauna and chef,
As an avid reader of your blog, and a proud owner of your book that has been dogeared many many times, i feel like i know you guys.
Your little lucy sounds like a tough cookie, and i'm sending tons of prayers and good thoughts to you all from tx. Lucy is beautiful. congratulations, and just remember to take some deep breaths, and your little one will follow suit.

 
At 9:55 AM, Blogger clair said...

pps - I am so sorry if I called LUcy Lisa, I am a tired mommy!

 
At 10:06 AM, Blogger Mouse said...

Welcome to little Lucy and congratulations to you both ........ remember to look after yourself as well Shauna, Lucy needs her mum fit & well ;) ..... Sending you all love & light, and I shall be asking for healing for Lucy every evening until I see a post saying she's home safe and sound with you both.

Much blessings & love
x Mouse

 
At 10:12 AM, Blogger chefamanda said...

Welcome little Lucy to this amazing world! sending my prayers your way may God be with you with each small breath you take...many many many more to come!

 
At 11:06 AM, Anonymous Lisa said...

Welcome to Lucy -- she is beautiful! I am thinking of and praying for the three of you!

 
At 11:11 AM, Blogger Allison the Meep said...

She's just beautiful. I'm sure you've already begun the staring. When my son was born, I really couldn't stop staring at him, and it's probably the same for you. How could you not stare at such a wonderful little creature?

I'm sending good and healing thoughts Lucy's way.

 
At 11:20 AM, Anonymous glutenfreebliss said...

HI Shauna! I am sending my blessings and warm thoughts of health and peace to Lucy. What an amazing little soul she is. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.

 
At 11:29 AM, Blogger erita said...

i've been following your beautiful blog for over a year now, and couldn't resist congratulating you on your beautiful Lucy!

i, like Mara, was born 3 months premature and spent 3 touch-and-go months in Stanford's NICU. i can't even begin to imagine the trauma my parents went through. but i am grateful to say that with their love and faith i have survived. 28 years later, still no ill side effects whatsoever. Lucy, with her tremendous spirit, along with the love of you and the Chef and so many supportive people, will win this fight!

sending light, love, and prayers your way.

 
At 11:31 AM, Anonymous Niki said...

YOU keep breathing slow deep even breaths. It will help keep you calm and she'll get that and fall into rhythm with you. Your love and devotion she'll feel because I can feel it here. Your blessings are so alive and real to us all so here's another reader sending prayers and healing energy your way. Good job Mom Good job Little "Bean" Lucy Good job Chef.

 
At 11:40 AM, Blogger Eh... Not so much said...

Breathe, Lucy! Keep saying YES.

 
At 11:41 AM, Blogger Angela said...

Like so many others have said, thoughts and prayers are with you and your parents, little Lucy. Fight.

"Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."
—Elizabeth Stone

 
At 12:16 PM, Blogger E2 said...

Delurking after years to say: You two are amazing. You have proven this time and again. My heartfelt wishes to little Lucy - and to you two. Congratulations, and welcome to the unknown, the unplanned, the miraculous world of Family!

 
At 12:17 PM, Anonymous Sarah said...

Little Lucy,
Congratulations on making it to this amazing world, and congratulations for being given to two parents who genuinely love you and each other. Our prayers are with you little one as you learn to breath...a lesson you will be learning your whole life through.

 
At 12:22 PM, Anonymous Vickiemarie said...

Welcome, Lucy Marie! I've been looking for you every day for the past week!! Blessings, prayers, and a whole lot of good vibes being sent out from Dallas to your and your Family. You can do it!

Vickie Marie

 
At 12:28 PM, Blogger Jean Layton-GF Dr. Mom said...

Dear Shauna and Danny,
what a difference a couple of days make.
Lucy is a marvel, just like her parents. She is gorgeous and vibrantly alive.

I remember when my twins were born, by c section, emergency.
I thought that I just had to let go and let the flow carry me.
When Fiona couldn't breathe at the birth, she was in the whirl of medical intervention. My husband accompanied her for the initial heel sticks and testing. I was left to be delivered of my second daughter with a lovely naturopathic student who had been my prenatal preceptor.
Was it the birth I wanted? Not really but after a week in the NICU, I was able to go home with my amazing new family.
Fiona has never again had any sort of breathing problems.
Fighter girl that Lucy is, I can see her being the same as Fiona.
Just a bit of time, love and care and all will be as it should be for her.
If you need anything, remember that Bellingham isn't too far away. I would love to help.
Jean

 
At 12:48 PM, Blogger Kinderhook said...

Hard to type through my tears. I, too, am sending you love and light and blessings -- all three of you. And especially sending lots of healthy breathing for little Lucy. --Sally

 
At 1:01 PM, Blogger Andrea said...

I am mostly a lurker, but had to comment here. As someone said, "how could I not?"
You sound as if you and your husband are enduring this with much love and grace. And Lucy will, too.
Keep the perspective of living in the moment.
You are learning much about love in this trying time.
Prayers and love to you and the little Light. (Lucy)
(I have a Lucy, too...a "Lucinda")

 
At 1:07 PM, Blogger Peyton's Mom said...

Congratulations Mom & Dad....Welcome Little Lucy Marie!!

Sending positive thoughts & love your (her) way...

Lots of kangaroo care for her --- and lots of healing vibes from our little family to yours....

 
At 1:09 PM, Blogger Sally Jo said...

Welcome, welcome, welcome little Lucy. We are sending prayers and love to all 3 of you.

 
At 1:12 PM, Anonymous Leslie said...

Dear Shauna and Danny,
I only got to meet you both for a short time in Denver on a cold and snowy night in January. Remembering how the both of you giggled nervously behind the book cases before your book reading at the Tattered Cover. You both looked so happy and in love, knowing the secert of the little bean inside of you that no one else knew. But Shauna, you had a certain twinkle in your eye that gave it away. I never met two people more connected. Stay true to each other, hang on tight, for this will pass, Lucy is yours forever.

 
At 1:13 PM, Blogger sleepypasture said...

Awwwwww, welcome little Lucy Bean - all the best to the three of you!

 
At 1:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So happy for you three. It will be okay. What a lovely post. God bless and keep you every moment of every day. Welcome, little Lucy! Please keep us posted....Debra

 
At 1:24 PM, Blogger Valerie said...

I've been reading the past few months without commenting (although one time I tried but my internet dropped before it got through). So glad that Lucy is finally here and thinking good thoughts that you will all get through this just fine. Thanks for keeping us readers posted about what is going on with little Lucy--we are all rooting for her.

 
At 1:27 PM, Blogger Gaile said...

Welcome Lucy, longed for and loved beyond words. Such a wonderful life awaits you, so full of joy and laughter, breathe it all in little one, the world awaits you. Congratulations Shauna and Danny, sending you and your daughter love and light with every breath from up here in b'ham.

 
At 1:42 PM, Blogger jane said...

first post... finally.

get well soon lucy, your lovely parents are "waiting to take you away".

congrats to all... i've been a fan for a very long time. thanks for sharing a bit of your life with the world.

 
At 1:52 PM, Blogger cookiecrumb said...

Lucy, you take my breath away. I give mine to you.
In the sky with diamonds.

 
At 2:06 PM, Blogger Christie CC said...

I don't know you; you don't know me. But I will hope and pray for your Little Lucy Bean.

*When* Lucy is better, please remember to take care of yourself.

I have only had the horrific-enough experience of having my son hospitalized at 6 weeks old for what turned out to be nothing more than a cold. But it was horribly traumatic to see my son go through procedure after procedure, touched by so many hands of people other than those who loved him all the while not knowing what was wrong or if he would be okay.

Much healing and love to you all!

Christie Carter, NY

 
At 2:07 PM, Blogger Jeanne said...

Welcome, welcome Lucy! Scream out as loud as you can--we can't quite hear you in Wallingford!!

Deep breaths beins sent to you all.

 
At 2:09 PM, Blogger Jenna said...

What joy! Congratulations!

 
At 2:11 PM, Anonymous smallbluebird said...

Lovely Lucy. You are cared for in Pasadena, Ca and we, too, are breathing deeply for and with you.

I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes. ~e.e. cummings

nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands ~e.e. cummings

Shaun, a little M. Oliver to mark this wonderful birth:

the hatchlings wake in the swaying branches,
in the silver baskets,
and love the world.
Is it necessary to say any more?
Have you heard them singing in the wind, above the final fields?
Have you ever been so happy in your life?
- Mary Oliver

 
At 2:11 PM, Blogger Jenna said...

and, of course, sending positive thoughts your way

 
At 2:30 PM, Blogger Knit Ma said...

http://spinlerfamily.blogspot.com/

Story of my Lucy... We do not update very often now, as she is big and healthy and a handful...

 
At 2:31 PM, Anonymous Petra said...

It's such a wonderful time and there is no preparing for the reality and joy of a new life.

I am sending Lucy and both of you lots of Love and Light, stay strong!

 
At 2:34 PM, Blogger Marty52 said...

Apnea is just plain scary, isn't it? You never know when that monitor is going to go off and scare you to death one more time. Know this, though... it will get better as Miss Lucy's lungs grow a bit more. My second son had severe apnea after being born at 32 weeks (yes, with a C-section). He is hale and hearty now, 30 years later, with two babies of his own. This, too, shall pass.

Welcome to the world, little one.

 
At 2:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Go little Lucy!!!!!! You can do it! Breathe girl! Breathe!

 
At 2:49 PM, Anonymous Hannah said...

This is one of the most beautiful things I have read in a long time. I am breathing for Lucy and breathing for you.

 
At 3:32 PM, Blogger Michelle said...

Congratulations! Lucy is a beautiful baby! As my husband and I continual said after the birth of our first daughter, three truly is a magic number.

While you remind Lucy to breath, make sure you and the Chef continue to breath yourselves. As the nurses have told you and others here have already said, Lucy is a fighter. And, that, right now, is her biggest advantage. Keep fighting, keep breathing, and the dawn will come.

 
At 3:46 PM, Blogger the professionals said...

lucy is breathtaking - and may that be a pun she enjoys laughing over many years from now! you are all very much in our thoughts - stay strong and full of the love!

 
At 3:55 PM, Blogger michelle f said...

i'm willing breath into her with all my heart. funny that, from someone who only "knows" you from some words in the interweb. but yes. breathe, fight and keep on, because there's a lot out here for your to see and experience.

 
At 3:55 PM, Blogger Clumbsy Cookie said...

Congratulations! Wow it's so nice to see her, i've been following but never commented here. But today I really had too. May Lucy learn happiness from her parents and may you enjoy teaching her. Welcome little bean!

 
At 4:03 PM, Blogger Zoomie said...

Shauna, Danny and Lucy - we send love and breath and energy and feistiness and faith in her lively spirit.

 
At 4:27 PM, Blogger Jason & Michelle Perry said...

You don't know me, I've been reading since I was diagnosed celiac. Just wanted you to know me and my family are sending prayers your way.

 
At 4:33 PM, Blogger Lisa said...

Welcome to the world Lucy! Sorry to hear of the scary times. Sounds like she is in very good hands. Sending best wishes she is breathing well soon and home with you. Hugs.

 
At 4:40 PM, Blogger ana and russ said...

Congratulations on Lucy's arrival! Praying for your family.

 
At 4:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations! Delurking to say: Lucy is gorgeous and strong. Wishing your family all the best.

Jody M

 
At 4:44 PM, Blogger Tori said...

In response to your comment about the caring nurses. Find out if your hospital has a program that recognizes above and beyond care. At our local hospital a comment card can be filled out and that particular person gets a rose to stick to their name tag. Some of the staff has so many that they've had to add on hang tags to the bottom to hold all the roses. Those are always the nurses that are awesome and you can tell they earned those roses with hard work and a caring attitude.

She'll get there and she'll fight. Everything will work out, babies are tough and can handle a lot more than we give them credit for. Lucy sounds like she's ready to see it all and she will with two of the most qualified people to show it to her.

Please, keep us updated on her progress. This may not be a "mommy blog" but the community here is like a family and I'm sure the people that read this site are concerned about it's newest member.

 
At 4:59 PM, Blogger tarambarker said...

Oh little Lucy Bean, welcome sweet one! It's understandable that you might need breathing lessons - the birth of such a perfect new person leaves all of us holding our breath, also! Your life to come with your wonderful parents will be full of many, many learning experiences, and it is fitting that your first family lesson be that of the basic, miraculous act of breathing, together. Welcome to the world, precious baby. Keep fighting - it will get easier.

Congratulations, Shauna and the Chef, on your amazing daughter. Your words and pictures brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for trusting us enough to share this time in your lives. I think all the advice of deep breaths will serve you well long after this trying time has passed - parenthood never looses it's breathtaking power. And welcome to the world to you two, as well, for surely you have experienced the re-birth that is Motherhood and Fatherhood. Enjoy.

 
At 5:04 PM, Anonymous Karla said...

Wishing you all the healing that comes from love. The three of you are deeply in my thoughts and prayers. Love from the east coast.

 
At 5:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lucy is beautiful and perfect. Enormous hugs and prayers coming for you from Texas.

Monique

 
At 6:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh congratulations!!! Seems like no time at all that you announced your pregnancy and now here she is, just perfect; oh yes!
Thinking of you all and hoping you get to go home, as a family, soon.

All best wishes, Rachel (a long time reader, de-lurking for the first time)

 
At 6:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Little Lucy,

Coming into this world a scary thing. Sometimes I find it hard to catch my breath, and I've been here for quite some time. Little Bean, you have some awesome parents waiting for you, and there's a wonderful life that awaits you. And oddly-enough there are many people who you will probably never meet who are pulling for you out here. Anyway, Dear Lucy, you have a wonderful adventure ahead of you, and two very amazing people to help you through it! Godspeed little Lucy!

Jeannine from Pittsburgh

 
At 6:20 PM, Blogger miriam said...

sending blessings and healthy thoughts your way.

 
At 6:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Welcome to the world beautiful Lucy! Best wishes to you and your family, my prayers are with you.

 
At 6:34 PM, Anonymous Christina said...

Congrats on your baby girl. Beautiful Boy filled my head when my beloved 1st son was born. I swear I tear up even today when I hear that song.
Wishing little Lucy some deep breaths

 
At 6:41 PM, Blogger momcan'tdance said...

Shauna, Danny and dear little Lucy!

Amazing that the internet has interwoven all these emotions. And yet, here we all are, pulling for your sweet little girl. I can't help remembering all your stories of Elliot...letting him sniff herbs and such, and I had that same feeling looking at the picture of you all as a family...someday, they'll do that with Lucy!

However we choose to express it...you are definitely in our prayers!

Suzi
Bend, OR

 
At 6:45 PM, Blogger Andi said...

Welcome earthside, Lucy.

Sending healing, love, and light to all.

 
At 7:06 PM, Anonymous Sally Parrott Ashbrook said...

Sending up prayers of healing and strength for you, Lucy, and Chef now.

 
At 7:12 PM, OpenID laughingatchaos said...

Deep breaths, darling Lucy. Keep fighting. Many congratulations, momma and poppa Chef. It'll be ok.

 
At 7:14 PM, Blogger Sigma Sigma Sigma Utah Alumnae Chapter said...

I just want to say congrats on the birth of your daughter and I am praying for you all. She is beautiful!!!

 
At 7:19 PM, Blogger Gluten Free...licious! said...

Just one look at that beautiful face and you know she is a fighter!! I will spare you the details, but we went through a similar ordeal and it was horrifying, but I'm happy to say my now 5 year old is healthy, happy and takes MY breath away every day! All three of you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Many hugs, kisses and breaths are sent to you!

 
At 7:30 PM, Blogger The Navratil Family said...

Congratulations, Shauna and Daniel (and yes, I feel like I can call you both by your first names because I have come to "know you" so very well on this blog)!

Lucy...what a beautiful name. And so appropriate for Beatles fans (my son's middle name is Jude).

I can't think of a better quote that that OF The Beatles (albeit overused and mainstream): "All you need is love." Let your hearts swell and overflow with love for dear little Lucy, and that love will pour over her and get those perfect little lungs working in NO time.

I and my family in Buffalo, NY all await the news of your arrival home!

 
At 7:37 PM, Blogger Kelley said...

Welcome to the world, beautiful Lucy. Sending lots of positive vibes to Shauna the Chef and Lucy. As I write this, the Beatles are singing 'Jai guru deva om'. Hail to the divine, indeed!

 
At 7:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fierce love and prayers surrounding and protecting you and beautiful baby Lucy.



Brenda
dvschoolmarm@yahoo.com

 
At 7:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations on the birth of your beautful daughter! Shauna, your words have helped me through some of the hardest moments in my life this past year, and though I haven't said anything until now, please know that I am praying deeply for you and your extraordinary Family.

Sending warm wishes, happy thoughts, and deep deep breaths of fresh, Maine air your way.

Caroline

 
At 7:51 PM, Blogger Ali-kat said...

Congratulations!! I hope that when things settle down you do a post about trying to eat gluten-free at the hospital. My OB said I should plan on bringing in all my own food. Plus trying to get meds free of allergens is a whole other ball game. Fortunately my mom is a hospital pharmacist and she checks all my drugs for me. She works nearish to you, but not close enough I think. Portland is too far away from you to pick her brain about gluten-free drugs.

 
At 7:53 PM, Blogger DiMerch said...

Your baby is perfect. Trust everyone in the ICU. I had a baby that only weighed 13 ounces (she was 3 months premature) and was in the hospital for almost 6 months. She was on oxygen for over a year after she was discharged and went home with a feeding tube. Our lives were flipped upside down as your is at this moment but I want to tell you that everything will be alright. Trust what your heart and head tell you. That's what I did and our baby girl is now almost 3 and is the feisty, smartest and most beautiful creature I have ever known. She has no problems associated with her prematurity which is a miracle in and of itself. Your little Lucy will be just fine, I can feel it. Sending positive vibes your way.

 
At 8:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

She got your attention right away! She's a beauty and a fighter and from the look of her first baby picture she is here to stay for real. All my prayers to sweet baby Lucy, and you Shuana and also for your rock of a Daddy, The Chef.
Love, Susanne

 
At 8:15 PM, Blogger Jack said...

Welcome, Lucy! And hooray for kangaroo care and breastmilk -- those are the two best things you guys can give her right now besides your love, which she's always had. Hopefully she's turned the corner; sometimes those 37 weekers are ready to breathe on their own, sometimes not. Thank goodness for good hospitals, doctors and nurses -- sounds like you guys are in good hands.

 
At 8:36 PM, Blogger Gawdess said...

Welcome and welcome and breathe!!!!!!
Wishing the very best to you all.

 
At 8:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congrats! My sister who is half a world away from me had her daughter 5 days before you. I'm more than a little emotional these days.

I read you post with tears streaming down my face. My thoughts are with you, Chef and Lucy

 
At 9:41 PM, Blogger Jules said...

Wow. I just began reading your blog and here I am crying reading this. I will pray for Lucy and you and Chef. I can tell she's a very lucky little girl to have you both. She will be okay.

 
At 9:51 PM, Blogger De said...

Dear Shauna, the Chef, and Lucy,

I feel like I can write this to you even though I've never posted before. I think it's good for you to know that so many people are pulling for the three of you.

I wanted to type for you a poem/prayer from Unity which has helped my family through times that are troubled, as well as the happy everyday times (I use the word "god" here, but obviously any word that makes you comfortable can be substituted in its place:

The light of god surrounds you.
the love of god enfolds you,
the power of god protects you,
the presence of god watches over you,
where I am,
god is.

My mom has a visualization for this one, so when I say this prayer for Lucy tonight I'll imagine her basking in light, Jesus standing by her incubator (mom imagines jesus in the guise of a 1960s hippie in tie-dye), a big strong Viking on the other side, and a white dove flying over her.

Also here is a number for the Silent Unity prayer request line. While Unity is of a Christian denomination, they are a wonderful and open organization that has competent calming praying people on the phones 24 hours a day.

1-800-NOW-PRAY (1-800-669-7729)

Be well, all of you, you are so very loved!

 
At 10:00 PM, Anonymous Hannah Rose said...

We waited so long to meet you, Little Bean. To know you, your name, your face, YOU. And you ARE perfect.

Shauna, I have been reading your blog for quite a while now, your book is my bible, and as an aspiring writer with celiac you mean so much more to me than I could ever say.

Your story of Lucy touched my heart in so many ways. My mum always tells the story of when I was born, I came out...and went to sleep for three long excruciating days for my parents. I guess I just wasn't ready for the world yet. And I like to think I used that time to become ready for the trials that I did not know I would face. I have had more health problems than anyone should, including a brain tumor at age four. I'm not trying to scare you, but my point is that I KNOW what it is like to think you don't have the strength for a moment more. But I am still here, and maybe those three days of sleep was me gaining the courage for the life that lay before me. I believe that, in any case.

Your picture made me cry, it was beautiful and intimate...I'd never seen someone so beautiful in my life. That was so...real. My mum read this with me (handing me tissues) and told me that when I was born they wanted to instantly wipe me off, and she said no. She let the waxy stuff soak into my skin and become part of me. That picture was so intimate, and so powerful.

Breathe Lucy, take your time, we will wait for you eagerly. Just breathe. It's not an easy task at times, but I believe you can do it. Breathe, Lucy.

-Hannah
20, Oregon

 
At 10:32 PM, Anonymous Carly said...

I have just stumble across your blog.

Congratulations and Welcome to Lucy.

Sending you lots of healthy lung filling vibes from our family.

I so enjoyed reading you blog. you are a gifted writer. I'm off to add your book to my amazon wishlist. :)

Keep getting stronger Lucy.

 
At 10:42 PM, Blogger Kate said...

This is an AMAZING post. Beautifully written.
(I "found" your blog through optimisticvoices.blogspot.)
Your daughter's "I'm brand new" picture brought tears to my eyes.
I hope for all the blessings in the world to come to your family.

 
At 11:18 PM, Blogger bunny said...

Heart-felt congratulations on the birth of your beautiful, precious baby.

And welcome, little Lucy to this World!

Your entire family has our family's well-wishes, prayers, and good thoughts.
~~~
Just as the soft rains fill the streams,
pour into the rivers, and join together in the oceans,
so may the power of every moment of your goodness
flow forth to awaken and heal all beings–
those here now, those gone before, those yet to come.

By the power of every moment of your goodness,
may your heart’s wishes be soon fulfilled
as completely shining as the bright full moon,
as magically as by a wish-fulfilling gem.

By the power of every moment of your goodness,
may all dangers be averted and all disease be gone.
May no obstacle come across your way.
May you enjoy fulfillment and long life.

For all in whose heart dwells respect,
who follow the wisdom and compassion, of the Way,
may your life prosper in the four blessings
of old age, beauty, happiness and strength.

(traditional Buddhist Blessing)

 
At 1:08 AM, Blogger katie stone said...

i'm in seattle right now sending you, the chef, and your beautiful little girl all the love and well wishes i have...hang in there!!!!

 
At 3:18 AM, Blogger sarah said...

I love the picture of Lucy and what a cute name by the way. Your articles have been life savers and have inspired me to do my own experiments in wheat free foods. I published my first recipe today.

 
At 3:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lucy Little Bean will be a jumping bean. I know it. Congrats and stay strong

 
At 6:19 AM, Anonymous Leslie said...

Hi Shauna and Danny,
If anyone can overcome the obstacles that will come her way in life, will be Lucy. She has great, strong parents that will show her the way. My best wishes to the three of you!
Leslie - CrazyQFarm Bakery

 
At 6:21 AM, Anonymous weavergirlguz said...

breathe, baby, breathe! You can do it, you are (all of ours) 'Little Bean'.
All is right with the world, Lucy IS here.

 
At 6:48 AM, Anonymous Sonja said...

Welcome, Lucy. And congratulations, Shauna and Danny!

Delurking to send you all the love and blessing and good energy possible from the Washington, DC are. Keep believing and fighting, and know we are thinking of you.

Sonja
Arlington, VA

 
At 7:16 AM, Blogger Callisto said...

Congratulations on the arrival of beautiful little Lucy - sending you all the best and brightest positive vibes i can muster up!!

 
At 7:38 AM, Blogger Kathryn said...

Congratulations on the birth of your amazing daughter, Lucy.

Before becoming parents I think we all imagine what it's going to be like. The birth, the hospital stay, taking that little bundle of joy and love home, and the wonderful days ahead. But then life happens. With the birth of all three of my children there have been days of great joy and days of not such great joy. My first born was rushed to NICU right after my c-section....they "knocked me out" right after he was born. Thankfully he figured out how to breathe and live after 3 long, long days. But as I look back now, 9 years later, that was a small little bleep in our life.

Hang in there....there is so much more life to live for little Lucy. I send you all my good wishes and prayers!

Lucy means "light" and I know she will be the light of your life. Enjoy her!

Kathryn

 
At 8:27 AM, Anonymous Lisa said...

Thank you for sharing this poignant moment in your lives. Your little girl is a beauty! I wish you all strength, deep breaths, and continued support. Lucy may be small, but her spirit and will seem big :)

 
At 9:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lucy, Shauna, and Daniel: So many thoughts of love and healing breath rolling into that ICU right now. The fighting spirit is innate. Take care of yourselves.

 
At 9:02 AM, Blogger stepmomof2 said...

Congratulations! I will keep you guys in my thoughts and prayers. May Lucy grow up to be strong and healthy and thrive in the love that is so abundant around her.

 
At 9:06 AM, Blogger Kay aka dkswife said...

Congratulations!! May Lucy breath freely on her own very soon! God Bless Your Family!

 
At 9:51 AM, Blogger VanC said...

Welcome Little Bean we're all so very glad you are here! Deep Breaths Baby Love in and out, in and out til it's all the time every day and every night. Your parents love you so very much. You are the miracle in their love story. Keep fighting!

 
At 10:29 AM, Blogger annie said...

oh she is beautiful. and so are her parents. my love and prayers are with her, and you both--

respira profundo, lucy! you can do it!

have faith. she's feisty.

 
At 11:29 AM, Blogger nicole said...

lots of love and peace to you. thinking all good thoughts for you all.

 
At 11:33 AM, Blogger cyberprof said...

Welcome to the world Lucy! Shauna and Danny, what can I say? Just remember to breathe in the light.

My sister has been a NICU nurse at a Level III nursery in Seattle for 20 years, and I know that those people are the best at what they do. I hope by now you're out of the NICU or maybe even home.

Enjoy the big and little moments and the new world that you have created.

~Laura

 
At 11:48 AM, Blogger Cate said...

Such like a girl to bring the drama in from day one, huh? Congratulations to your whole family on little Lucy. Love the name and it was on our short-list too. Looks like the word breath is the perfect complement for your yes tattoo. Breathe, a lesson we could all remember sometimes. Hang in there, Shauna. Thinking positive thoughts for all of you.

 
At 11:58 AM, Anonymous Lisa C said...

Sending lots of healing vibes to you and to a most precious little Lucy.

 
At 12:49 PM, Blogger Kharina said...

Hello Lucy Marie. We've all been waiting with excitement for your arrival!
Remember to breathe when things get tough. We all forget to breathe at times. And don't let mum brush your hair when she is angry at dad and if you need to draw on the walls, do it behind the furniture.
Lots of love and good vibes from the UK to you guys!:D

 
At 12:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Felicitations! We're rooting for all three of you.

 
At 1:16 PM, Blogger Melanie said...

Welcome Lucy. And congratulations Chef and Shauna. And now forever your hearts will beat outside of your bodies...

 
At 1:28 PM, Anonymous Courtney said...

Oh, Shauna. Oh, chef. Oh, Lucy. I can't imagine any baby in the cyber world with more prayers coming her way right now. Breathe, breathe, breathe...

 
At 1:54 PM, Blogger House of Jules said...

Oh my gosh, did this post make me cry! Sending the three of you love, light and positivity. Some friends had a similar situation at the birth of their first born, and I came across a quote to send along with flowers that has stuck with me ever since: "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."
Their first born is an 11-year old perfectly healthy boy now. Hang in there.... and I probably should have opened with this, but Lucy is adorable. Congratulations.
Sincerely,
Jules
House of Jules

 
At 2:34 PM, Blogger terry said...

oh my god... my heart is in my throat reading this.

she is gorgeous. and you can see the fight in her.

sending you all positive, healing thoughts.

 
At 2:41 PM, Blogger Alice and Terry said...

Please know that so many people are cheering at their computer, with lots of love and compassion for Lucy (including you and the Chef!)
Congratulations and best of luck with your upcoming adventures with Lucy. We are here for you, Shuana!

 
At 2:50 PM, Blogger Vittoria said...

You're beautiful daughter has inherited strength from both you and The Chef. She is already a fighter, and as you say, she has many battles to fight and many lessons to learn. We all do things our own way. This is just her way. My heart goes out to you, The Chef, and your Lucy.

 
At 2:57 PM, Blogger Tay said...

Lucy, Lucy! Welcome to the world, little one. I am *so* happy and excited for you three, what a beautiful family...

Tears won't stop as I read your post and all the comments. Shauna & Danny and little Lucy, you are in the center of a ever-growing circle of love and healing energy. It stretches over the whole world. We are all pulling for you from our little corners.

What an intense mediation practice you are in...just following the breath. In, out, in out.

Bless you three in these tough days and always. Sending love from this corner and holding you in my own meditations.

 
At 3:15 PM, Blogger danikaw said...

Congratulations to you, Shauna and The Chef. I am saying prayers for little Lucy. (Though I have confidence and faith that she will get through this.) You are right- she is a fighter and is not going to leave this world.

I love the comic. It hits home for me, as my daughter is also named Lucy (18 months old). We listened to The Beatles throughout my labor and when she was born, we knew right away she was a Lucy. It's a strong name, and of course, full of light.

Welcome to the world, dear Lucy. Keep breathing!

 
At 3:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Lucy you are beautiful! You are strong and a fighter. You have wonderful parents caring and loving you and a worldful of rooting supporters. Welcome to the world little one. Our thoughts and prayers are with you as you being your life's journey.

 
At 3:34 PM, Blogger Lori said...

I am praying for you.

 
At 3:35 PM, Blogger Lori said...

I am praying for you little Lucy.

 

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